My apologies for being such a sucker

by Meritxell Riera Prims

-My new Dyksiezski…

-Where are you going to hang it?

-I’m not. You are. -You want me to hang it for you? You better hope it doesn’t get out to the girl-nation that you needed a man to help you hang a picture.

-You’re going to hang it in your house. I bought it for you.

-Yeah, right. -I’m serious.

-Why?

-Because it’s captured the moment. It’ll be a constant reminder –not just of tonight, but of our introduction, the building of our friendship, everything. Make no mistake about it my Friend -it’s a gift to you, from me, so you’ll always remember us.

(Holden stops the car)

-Why are we stopping?

-‘Cause I can’t take this.

-Can’t take what?

-I love you.

-You… love me…

-I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of everything I’ve ever looked for in another human being. And I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider, but… I had to say it. I just… I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended– but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this before. And I don’t care; I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just… I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which… by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know, I KNOW that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too.  All I ask is that, please, you just not dismiss that and try to dwell in it, for just ten seconds. Alyssa… there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who’s ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know… Even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which -while I do appreciate it- I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

(Alyssa gets out of the car)

-God… Is it something I said?

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