Surrender and redemption.

by Meritxell Riera Prims

I seriously believe that the incapability of expressing your feelings, being affectionate, asking for others’ company, not to share your sorrows, actually, but to share you’re enthusiasm and enjoy together those things that make you happy, is the saddest situation you can experience.

I don’t know about you. Maybe I have a hard time with it because I’ve got some sort of condition -actually I do-, but I believe I’m no different from the rest.

Think about it. Isn’t it as hard -or even harder- to ask someone on a date, to tell them you love them and so on as it is to get emotionally naked and share your sorrows, fears with them? Or as simple as this may seem: have you ever dismissed the idea of calling a friend just to meet them for a cup of coffee or a drink -no second intentions, just because you felt like seeing them, share a precious moment, you were just searching for the human touch- because you thought “They might be busy, I don’t want to be a bother.” You were actually embarrassed and the thought of “Damn fear of rejection…!” crossed your mind. Then they might end up thinking that you’re cold and distant and unapproachable, and you’re causing the opposite effect, which was to attract others to you…

Why should we see ourselves as pathetic beings just because we are in need of affection?

Love is certainly a scary feeling. And this is a symptom of how sick our society is. How funny. The thing we need the most, that heals us the most, is also the most terrifying.

The wisest person I’ve ever met, some type of master and spiritual guru -together with my 태권도 선생님 (Taekwondo instructor), used to tell me that I needed to be more thankful for the things I had and also more apologetic for the wrong I did -guidelines which aren’t taught to you in an environment where silence and an irrational and unfounded fear prevail/ed.

Another lesson in life: excuse and forgive other mistakes in the name of LOVE.