In love with the idea of love

by Meritxell Riera Prims


An iconically bored Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) in the equally iconic adaptation of Margaret Mitchell‘s classic Gone with the wind (1939).


I’ve realized that I hardly ever fall in love unless I’m really bored with life in general. It’s more about falling in love with the idea of being romantically linked to someone and doing romantic things with him/her.

It’s not that I don’t find certain people lovable, attractive, and such. It’s just that I’m perfectly aware that romantic love is more about what you need to fulfill your life at a certain time more than how a certain someone makes you feel.

Comparing love to a drug -which is something that’s been done countless times in pop culture (songs, movies…)- is actually pretty accurate. We get easily fed up with things in our comsumer society. And yes, even our love interests eventually lose their initial appeal. I guess looking for l’amour fou –a sometimes even destructively passionate romance- is our way of challenging and testing our tendency to getting too accustomed to comfort and being trapped in the safety zone. And that’s pretty sick, if you ask me.

Not long ago even a psychiatrist told me that a discussion about including ‘addiction to romance’ in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) was being held among professionals. So there you have it.

Let’s be realistic: life is such a fascinating, unfathomable journey, full of enigmatic things ready to be disclosed every step of the way… I mean… why would you miss all of that focusing and devoting yourself on just one individual?